Aubaid Ahmad Akhoon
“Etiquette is the poetry of conduct; the rhythm that resonates within and harmonizes our interactions with the world.”
Etiquettes are not merely social constructs; they are the embodiment of one’s inner values, discipline, and respect for others. For conscious and quality people, etiquettes naturally become a lifetime legacy, ingrained in their personality and actions. These behaviors shape our interactions, reflect the quality of our character, and leave a lasting impact on society.
The essence of etiquettes in daily life
Etiquettes play a crucial role in our daily lives, from how we greet others to how we conduct ourselves in various settings. They are more than just following societal norms; they represent our respect for the feelings, rights, and spaces of others. Simple acts like holding the door open, saying “please” and “thank you,” or listening attentively in a conversation are not just polite gestures but expressions of respect and empathy. For conscious and quality individuals, these values are intrinsic to their way of being.
The role of etiquettes in building relationships
Etiquettes are fundamental in building and nurturing relationships, both personal and professional. In personal relationships, expressions of gratitude, consideration of others’ feelings, and acts of kindness create a nurturing environment where relationships can thrive. In professional settings, etiquettes such as punctuality, courtesy, and attentiveness foster a culture of respect and cooperation, which is essential for a positive and productive work environment.
Etiquettes as a reflection of consciousness
Etiquettes are a reflection of a person’s consciousness—an awareness of oneself and others. Conscious individuals are mindful of their actions and their impact on others. This mindfulness distinguishes quality people, guiding them to act in ways that are respectful, considerate, and kind without needing external reminders. Their actions are driven by empathy and understanding, leaving a lasting impression on those around them.
Conscious individuals also respect cultural and social contexts, adapting their behavior to different environments. This cultural sensitivity is a hallmark of truly conscious people, who respect diversity and strive to make others feel comfortable and valued.
Aggressive thinking vs conscious etiquettes
Aggressive thinking in the face of peace is the result of a reaction under a negative mindset. Whether individual or collective, aggressive thinking is an example of a weak mind in itself. There is no place for aggressive thinking in Islam. The second and last resort when all other possibilities are ignored is an aggressive move. If one lacks knowledge and the power of expression, the last weapons become ignorant words or arbitrary actions.
Allah, the Lord of Wisdom, in His Holy Book, advises the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) to invite the polytheists of Makkah to the path of Allah Almighty with good speech, wisdom, and understanding. “Call people to the path of your Lord with wisdom and good advice and argue with them in the most courteous way, for your Lord knows best who strays from His path, and knows best who is rightly guided. ” (Surah An-Nahl 125)
Selfishness, hard-heartedness, miserliness, and narrow-mindedness have never been honored. Time will inevitably uncover dishonesty and lies; history has no place for them.
The lasting impact of etiquettes
The impact of etiquettes extends beyond the immediate moment; they leave a lasting impression on others. People who practice good manners and etiquettes are remembered fondly, and their legacy continues to inspire others long after they are gone. This enduring influence is the true power of etiquettes—they transcend time and remain relevant even after one’s passing.
In contrast, wishes and prayers offered after death, while meaningful, often become ritualistic habits performed out of tradition rather than a genuine connection to the deceased. Over time, these rituals may lose their significance and become mere formalities, lacking the depth and lasting impact that living etiquettes provide.
The contrast between living etiquettes and posthumous rituals
While both etiquettes and posthumous rituals hold significance, they differ fundamentally in their impact. Etiquettes are living values practiced throughout one’s life, reflecting a person’s character and consciousness. They have a tangible impact on others and help shape a person’s legacy. Posthumous rituals, on the other hand, are symbolic gestures performed after a person has passed away. While they offer comfort to the bereaved, they do not have the same enduring impact as the values practiced during life.
This contrast underscores the importance of living a life guided by conscious values and etiquettes. It is these living practices that define a person’s legacy and have a lasting impact on society.
Bottom line: The timeless value of etiquettes
Etiquettes are not just rules but a reflection of a person’s inner values, consciousness, and quality. They shape our interactions, build relationships, and leave a lasting legacy. For conscious and quality people, etiquettes are a way of life, deeply embedded in their character. While posthumous rituals have their place, they cannot replace the significance of a life lived with conscious values and etiquettes. These values are the true markers of a life well-lived, creating a lasting impact that endures beyond one’s lifetime.
“Mitta De Apni Hasti Ko Agar Kuch Marta-bah Chahiye,
Ki Danah Khaak Main Mil Kar Gulo Gulzaar Hota Hain.
“Surukh roo hota hain insaan thokray khane k baad,
Rang Laati Hain Hina Pathar Pe Piss Jane K Baad.
“Meaning: “Erase your being if you want some honor,
That the grain blooms together in the dust.”
“Crying red is when a person stumbles,
Color comes after henna is thrown on rock.”
These verses remind us that true greatness and lasting impact are born out of humility, perseverance, and a life lived with conscious values. Just as a grain must be buried in the earth to blossom, and henna must be ground to release its color, so must we cultivate our etiquettes and character through life’s challenges. In doing so, we create a legacy that transcends our physical existence and continues to inspire long after we are gone.
(The author is a columnist, motivational speaker. He is presently working as Sr. EDP head at SKIE Classes Khanyar/Soura branch and can be reached at [email protected])
