Kaisar Ahmad Malla
Kashmir is paradise on Earth, but for many of its daughters, it has become a furnace where dreams are scorched and dignity is reduced to ashes. Dowry has turned homes into places of silent suffering, where love is traded for greed and tradition is used to justify cruelty. Dowry is a haunting reality that continues to claim lives in the silence of our homes and the complicity of our traditions.
According to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), Jammu & Kashmir registered approximately 4,100 cases of crimes against women in 2023,marking an increase from 3,716 cases reported in 2022.The Union Territory ranked second among all UTs in terms of the number of such cases, following Delhi. Alongside these figures, thousands of distress calls to women’s helplines reflect the ongoing challenges faced by many within their homes, often in silence.
Why dowry when faith forbids it..!
Dowry was never a part of our religion or our ethics. Islam, in fact, emphasizes Mehr, a gift from the groom to the bride, as a mark of respect. Yet, somewhere along the line, culture overpowered faith, greed replaced love and marriage became a transaction. Today, grooms’ families demand cash, gold, furniture, vehicles, all in the name of tradition.
What is worse is that girls are no longer seen as blessings, but burdens. Parents live in constant fear. Some even delay or cancel weddings, not for lack of love but for lack of money. A daughter may find her match, but not her marriage. India’s Dowry Prohibition Act,1961 clearly bans the giving or taking of dowry. It is a punishable offense with imprisonment and fine. And yet, the practice thrives behind decorated stages and polished smiles. Laws exist, but where is our will to follow them?
The moral collapse
Our education system has produced degrees but not dignity. Schools have taught grammar, formulas and facts but not compassion, respect or ethics. Our religious leaders have preached rituals, but rarely addressed social injustices like dowry with the urgency they deserve. As a result, custom has overpowered conscience and greed has overtaken guidance. Year after year, behind closed doors and silenced tears, women are being harassed, tortured and even killed, all for not bringing enough money, furniture or gold. Families cover it up. Society whispers. But the trauma never fades. And for those still unmarried, the fear is just as cruel. Parents delay weddings not because the girl is not ready, but because they cannot “afford” her marriage. What kind of society values cash over character?
Women deserve love, not labels
A daughter is not a burden. She is not a price to be paid. She is a soul, a light, a life. If we do not change now, we will lose more than just lives, we will lose our very humanity.
It is time we refuse dowry marriages, support victims and raise our voices, not after a girl dies, but before. Let our religious leaders, educators and community elders speak up. Let us teach our sons that a woman is a life partner, not a purchase. It is time we stop asking what she brings and start asking what she deserves.
(The author is staff nurse at GMC Baramulla. He can be reached at [email protected])
