Dr Batula Rashid, Mohammad Arfat Wani
The way of life in Kashmir was quite different in the past. People lacked many facilities, but there used to be a sense of affection and brotherhood. People used to sit together, neighbours would come to each other’s places and children would play outdoors for long periods of time. People didn’t need any invitation to go to someone’s place; they could just visit them, have tea and spend time together. However, things have changed today; education, transport, technology and career prospects have advanced, but many of our old values are disappearing.
The biggest change that has taken place is the change in our language. Kashmiri was spoken in almost all homes, markets and areas in the past. In the present times, many parents feel like speaking English to their kids because they think it will help them in their studies and careers in the future. English is important, but we shouldn’t forget our mother tongue. Many kids understand what their grandparents say in Kashmiri but cannot respond in Kashmiri.
Family life has changed as well. In the past, it was common to find grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts and cousins living together in one house. Children learned respect, sharing and patience from their seniors. Nowadays, small families have become common due to work, education and migration. Children today spend most of their time playing with their cellphones rather than being with their grandparents. In many cases, children continue playing with their cellphones even when their parents are sitting beside them. At times, they do not pay attention to what their seniors say. Dressing and behaviour have also changed among some of the younger generation. It is not the new dress and freedom of choice that are the issue, but decency and respect for family members.
The neighbourhood used to be close-knit. There used to be assistance among people during marriages, illness and tough times. When there was a marriage in any family, people from the neighbourhood used to help out. Now, when we have hundreds of people stored in our mobile phones, we don’t even know about the things happening in the neighbouring house. It seems that now we have lost patience with each other. Minor disagreements turn into quarrels, and people tend to forget the importance of forgiveness and understanding.
Childhood too has undergone a lot of changes. Children used to play traditional games in the open fields and return home in the evenings. Nowadays, children use most of their free time watching videos and playing games on mobile phones. Social media is also making young children compare their clothing, mobile phones and lifestyles with others. We should also consider the absence of playgrounds and outdoor activities for children. Children need books, sports, friends and family life.
Our food, dress and hospitality reflect the Kashmiri culture. The kandur waan with fresh girda, lavasa, tsot and kulcha hold an important place in our life. In winter, the pheran and kangri are part of our household items. To sit together drinking noon chai or kehwa from a samovar is yet another tradition. The Wazwan brings families and friends together for marriages and other festivals. Rouf, Wanwun, Chakri, Bhand Pather and Sufiana music are other aspects of our culture. The poetry of Lal Ded and Sheikh-ul-Alam and sayings like ‘Ann poshi teli yeli wan poshi’ tell us about our history and our relationship with nature. Our culture should be taught to children in our homes and schools.
Marriage celebrations have also changed. Some people spend money beyond their means on clothes, decorations and food. Some even take loans out of fear of criticism from others. Marriage is a happy occasion, not a money-making one. Simplicity can also be beautiful. Relationships are more important than showing off.
Ramadan and Eid continue to be gatherings of people. People organize iftar parties, visit each other and help needy families. These kinds of events educate children about kindness, generosity and thankfulness. But these qualities should not be restricted only to such festivals. They should be followed throughout the year.
Education has brought many good things. Many young people have gone to colleges and universities, and women are showing their talents in fields like medicine, nursing, teaching and administration. Girls from villages are also getting chances to build their careers. But the stress of examinations, family pressures and uncertainty about the future put pressure on students. Stress, anxiety and loneliness should not be considered signs of weakness. Young people require understanding and professional assistance whenever required. Unemployment is yet another major issue that compels many people to migrate from Kashmir in search of jobs.
Drug abuse is yet another problem affecting the family and society. Instead of ignoring the problem and pointing fingers at those affected by it, what is needed is awareness, counselling, treatment and assistance. The youth should be motivated in sports, education and other constructive activities.
Village life has also seen some changes. Agriculture, horticulture and handicrafts have sustained Kashmiri families for years. Apple orchards, rice fields and walnut gardens are an important part of the rural life of Kashmiris. However, farmers find it difficult to cope with low prices or insufficient transportation and marketing facilities. Nevertheless, the good thing is that improved road transport, mobile phones and internet facilities have made things much easier. But traffic rule violations, roadside littering, plastic littering, water wastage and the cutting of trees are still major issues. The Jhelum River, Dal Lake, forests and mountains need protection.
There has been a change in our reading and spending habits as well. A lot of young people these days spend more time on social media than reading newspapers, books and magazines. Some feel sad because they cannot buy the costly items shown on social media. Information is shared without verification. We should promote reading, encourage local authors and educate our children about verifying information. Technology can help us preserve our culture by recording our old Kashmiri tales, folk songs and the experiences of our elders.
We cannot go back to our past, but neither should we ignore modern development. Education, employment, transportation and technology are required in Kashmir. But at the same time, we should not ignore our language, family relations, reverence for parents and teachers, respect for elders and proper conduct with others. We usually demand good manners from others but fail to practise them ourselves.
Kashmir will continue to change with time. What matters is that we do not lose the things that make our society special. Real progress is not only about better roads, buildings and jobs. It is also about caring for one another, respecting our traditions, helping those in need and protecting the land we call home.
(Dr Batula Rashid is the Head of the Psychiatric Department at Ramzaan College of Nursing and Paramedical Sciences, Pampore. Mohammad Arfat Wani is a nursing student from Kuchmulla, Tral. He can be reached at [email protected])
