The times are changing. With time, it is natural for more or less change in food habits, lifestyle, clothing as well as values and traditions. All our relationships flourish only with the feeling of mutual love and respect. No one has control over the relationships we receive by birth, but we mostly choose our friends, lovers and life partners. Some time ago such news came into the headlines in which a boy brutally murdered his girlfriend. Such incidents force one to think that how did this so-called love relationship reach such a bad state? Similarly, there are also reports of incidents of unexpected behavior by women with their male friends or husbands. Such relations cannot be called normal.
Perhaps in the last few years, the term ‘toxic relationship’ or toxic relationship has become increasingly popular for such relationships. In such a relationship, tender feelings are replaced by jealousy, hatred and abuse. A relationship in which there is no respect for privacy, suspicion or ill will cannot be called a healthy relationship. A painful and harmful relationship can be called a relationship full of bitterness. In such a situation, one person tries to control the other beyond limits. Its symptoms are making unreasonable accusations, doubting, unethical and wrong behavior to gain control over one’s partner. In this the love relationship starts becoming negative. Before this happens, many types of signs start appearing. One partner taunts the other without any reason. You start giving in, doubting, checking your partner’s phone every now and then. It starts with disbelief. In fact, due to his feeling of insecurity, a partner suffering from inferiority complex starts doubting even the normal behavior of the other. Since such people are unable to trust anyone, they try to have complete control over their partner. It is not bad to be a little sensitive, but when one of the two is unable to accept the independent personality of the other, then the situation becomes very bad.
Getting out of a toxic relationship is often extremely difficult. People remain hopeful that their partner will improve. On the other hand, the partner also gives hope that he will not make any such mistake again which will cause pain to him. There are many reasons like fear of loneliness, if married, family, children and society’s reputation etc., due to which people are not able to get out of such a relationship even if they want to. Such a situation can also arise in relationships decided by the family, but then the family stands together and efforts are made to resolve the matter if it can be handled. In relationships these types of things are painful not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. It not only affects personal life but also has a negative impact on professional life.
Mutual communication is the first link to resolve such relations. If this does not work, then psychologists advise that if the situation is worsening then one should immediately seek advice and support from a counselor. They can suggest corrective measures after listening to both sides. In such cases, if there is no possibility of things being resolved in any way, then time remains. The better solution is to come out of this. Be it a man or a woman, first of all it is necessary to control your emotions. In such a situation, to be happy, first of all you should give time to yourself and start loving yourself. The one who respects himself, others also respect him. It is necessary to control your dependence on your partner. Many times, excessive dependence makes one person unnecessary in a mutual relationship. To get relief from such a situation, you should take out some time in the day for your health. This results in body parts not only does one get relief from the cramps, negative thoughts also do not come in the mind. Sometimes things are not that simple.
When we are emotionally attached to someone we do not pay attention to material things or the financial side. Whereas financial issues are also a major reason for rift in relationships. In such a situation, whether you are together or separated, you must pay attention to your financial situation. It is possible that two partners living together have many things in common, but when the relationship becomes no longer normal, then clarity on these is necessary. For this to happen, it is necessary to take help from family, friends or the law, even if they have been against making this relationship, but they are reliable in times of crisis.
(The author is retired Principal, educational columnist and can be reached at [email protected])