Madeeha Farooq
Once upon a time, there was a girl who was highly extroverted. She smiled in every situation — whether sad or happy. Everyone loved being around her because of her lively, cheerful nature. Friends, family, or even strangers she met felt happier after meeting her. She became like therapy for unhappy souls.
She also loved this part of herself. Yet, deep inside, she never formed lifelong friendships — not because she was not worthy of love, but because she thought she was not perfect enough to be anyone’s close friend. She constantly doubted her value in other people’s lives.
She never let anyone know she was unhappy. Even during her saddest moments, she forced a smile so no one could guess her pain. Inside her room, she cried silently but stepped out with the cheerful face everyone knew.
The silent struggles
Academically, she was weak, and people doubted her abilities. Some even judged her, saying she would not qualify her board exams. But she proved them wrong and passed with a great score, believing in herself.
Time passed, and she reached the stage of her life where she had to qualify for her competitive exams (NEET). She tried her best but failed. Yet she gained something far more valuable — friends who believed in her and loved her sincerely.
All four friends later got admission in different regions, but their love and affection remained the same. Even when busy with their own work, their bond stayed strong, as if they met each other every day.
From happy girl to sad girl
The “loser” in whom no one believed had now become the girl everyone admired. But the “happy girl” suddenly turned into her sad version. Everyone began to notice her sadness, and it raised a big question in their minds — “Why?”
Seeing her sad, others became sad too. When they asked her what was wrong, she would laugh and say, “Nothing happened, I’m okay.” When someone pressed her, she would even reply sharply, “You’re the problem, always asking me what’s wrong. I’m okay, did you get it? I’m okay.”
This made her appear rude in people’s minds. Without knowing the reason, they began judging her. Perhaps she was thinking of something deeply disturbing. Maybe the absence of her three close friends had left her unable to share her problems. And she couldn’t confide in her parents either, fearing she would worry them.
The lonely phase
The happy girl was now in her worst phase, with only herself for company. Slowly, she began turning into an introvert who didn’t talk to anyone. In her mind, she fixed an image of people as those who wouldn’t like her no matter what.
She began doubting her self-esteem and feeling worthless. Every morning, she wished she wouldn’t have to go out and meet people — not because she disliked them, but because she disliked her current version of herself.
Her colleagues noticed this change and advised her to focus on herself and not think about the things that disturbed her. But again and again, she refused with the same words, “I’m good. Nothing is wrong with me.”
The hidden strength
And so, she became the introverted and sad version of herself, forgetting that she could still do anything she wanted. She forgot that she was once a role model for people who found happiness and hope in her cheerful self.
(The author is a student of B. Sc. Nursing, 6th Semester, Kular College of Nursing, Ludhiana, affiliated with Baba Farid University of Health Sciences. She can be reached at [email protected])
